What happened to us? Why are we so different now ? Why cant we talk like how we used to? Did i take the wrong step to let you into my life ?I gave you a chance, i gave myself a chance, i gave us a chance.But it seems like nothing is working out. So many things have changed. You blame me for being so defensive and bitchy now, but ask yourself , why am i like this now ? Why?
Recently, everything seems like im the one at fault, im the bad guy. And yes, most of time, i am. But then again, ask yourself, why? Im just scarred and im trying to protect myself from getting hurt again. Its not a good thing that im like this now, of couse i know that but i just cant help it. No one is there to help me, to guide me through everything. No one is there to completely understand things from my point of view.All i want is just someone to pamper me, to give in to me at the right time and to teach me nicely. You're teaching me in the harsh way .I've learnt everything myself and i've depended on myself to get to this stage of our relationship. Nobody taught me how to be a good girlfriend, no one taught me how to statisfy you and your expectations. And you know damn right, how difficult you are. I know i am difficult too, but i dont expect a lot from you, do i?
your words are like knives everytime we are in an argument, you put me down so much ,you hurt me like as if you dont care. And sometimes, i am really convinced that you dont give a damn about me, y'know that ?Sometimes,i just ask myself " is it worth it to stay? Is it worth it to let a guy hurt you like this? " But im not leaving and i didnt leave cause i love you so fucking much and i know thats not the real you, cause i trust you.But do you?
you'd take major offense in almost everything i do and say, i really dont know what to do anymore. I dont know what to do with myself so i can please you.
Do you even take into consideration that this is the first time im in a relationship? Do you? And you're my first boyfriend,YOU.A guy thats fucking deep and smart that made me feel so inferior. And you expect me to learn from all your harsh comments.I really wish that we would be like how we used to. midnight calls everynight, talking about life without me feeling uncomfortable and inferior.But i doubt that can happen again at the rate we are going.
Is it time to let go,honey? I really dont know, sometimes i feel that we might not be the one for each other, but i just cant bear to leave you. i cant believe i love you so fucking much ,im willing to suffer in silence unless you do something about it.I hope you see this someday, but i doubt so cause you probably wouldnt even remember that i have this blog. Am i right?

Im losing hope every single time we quarrel.I'm so tired, im drained. I need a getaway. I need you to understand, I need you.

Majesta
1st July 93
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I have to admit that i'm someone very emotional and sensitive.
I love my pets a lot especially my dearest dog,Happy♥ I hope he could turn into a prince when i kiss him so he can be my cute guy♥♥
Happy is the best dog ever,i love him more than anything so please dont take him away.
I'm retarded and lame so i might irritate people at times,heehee:)
Most of all,I hate liars.



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